the weird thing about abuse that people never really talk about is that it actively teaches you to be manipulative???
like- if you see someone obviously fake crying or cringeing or saying “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” over and over you roll your eyes and assume they’re doing it to get their own way- which they are, in a sense, but “their own way” just means “please don’t hurt me anymore” because they (we) learned early on that if someone’s mad at you, that means terrible, terrible consequences that you can’t deal with because they hold so much power over you, so your default response becomes performing remorse so they won’t be mad. And most people don’t get that, because to them, having someone be mad at them sucks, but it’s not a catastrophe the way it is for an abuse survivor.
the sj backlash to fetishizing gay male pairings has become an idea that casual homophobic(straight) liberals have latched on to as an argument against all m/m pairings and it’s getting really annoying please stop
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS POST FOR SO LONG THANK YOU
bless your face and bless this post
the vast majority of m/m slash shippers I have known in my decade of fandom have been queer women. maybe it’s because, gee, I don’t know, the strongest non-het relationships in most media are between men. I’d have more femmeslash ships if I fucking had more female characters who actually appear together in the same goddamn scene, let alone talk and form meaningful relationships of any kind.
as media is now, you are more likely to find interesting and nuanced canon relationships between men than you will find between women. (let’s also remember that girls are trained from a young age to relate to male characters - through assigned reading in school to the main characters in their favorite books and cartoons. male characters are more fleshed out and get more screentime and are emphasized more and are thus more relatable for a lot of women.)
punishing queer women for the media’s lack of queer women (and women in general) is fucking ridiculous. the fact that most fandoms have more m/m slash than femmeslash is a negative reflection of media and societal norms, NOT necessarily the people in the fandom. fandom is reflective of this shit, not the cause. fandom trends are only symptoms of a larger problem. I will say this as many times as it takes: M/M FANDOMS ARE LARGELY FEMALE SPACES AND PUNISHING THEM FOR MEDIA AND SOCIETAL NORMS THAT HARM THEM IS FUCKING STUPID AND HELPS NO ONE
straight people who rail against m/m slash shippers for special ally sj brownie points: you are not fucking helping and you need to stop. this is not your place and not your job.
what a good, good post
It’s something people are so powerless over, and so often they want to make it your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. I started thinking of suicide when I was 10 years old—I can’t believe that that’s somebody’s fault. Like, “Oh, you’re just an attention getter.” Mental illness isn’t seen as an illness, it’s seen as a choice.
I have a joke about how people don’t talk about mental illness the way they do other regular illnesses. “Well, apparently Jeff has cancer. Uh, I have cancer. We all have cancer. You go to chemotherapy you get it taken care of, am I right? You get back to work.” Or: “I was dating this chick, and three months in, she tells me that she wears glasses, and she’s been wearing contact lenses all this time. She needs help seeing. I was like, listen, I’m not into all that Western medicine shit. If you want to see, then work at it. Figure out how not to be so myopic. You know?"
Mr. Therapy Makes You Weak. Mr. Get Over It. Mr. I Don’t Get Why You’re Crying Can’t You Just Stop?
dmingurl1 asked: Suzzie
OTP: Suzzie and gambling.
BrOTP: Suzzie and Lucius.
OT3: Suzzie, Cat and Reid.
NOTP: Suzzie and bugs. D8